For me, touring is as if I’m leaving the party.

NYC is the party and I’m riding home alone. But now home is not three miles out of the way from any of the fun my friends are having. Home is the quiet roads and small towns I don’t know. There is really not much new. Sometimes I roll with friends out somewhere fun in Brooklyn or LES. And after it gets late and things shift just a little I start to think, do I stay longer or is it time to go home? As much as I like to spend time with friends it is shitty riding home alone knowing there is just an empty apartment waiting. And since I have trouble getting to sleep I never look forward any of it. I tell myself I’ll feel fine tomorrow. I think about what time I have to work the next day. Or if it’s a day off I think about what I might do. Things that need done or other little things. But if I don’t have to work, then by time the next day begins and I wake up I might not do a thing. In the last five months I can guess that half of the days I did not have to work, I did not leave the house.

How is this the same?

I would be alone. I think I’d still struggle. But it’s like the days that I work. I’m fine. I’m up I’m out I’m doing something. My mind is working on little tasks to keep the work flowing. A busy mind. Busy at work. Those are the times I feel ok. Being around on the bike I see friends and maybe go hangout after work. Do whatever it is. Stay out a little bit. Stick around til things shift in just the way they do. Or maybe, like on most days I work, I go home early. And have nothing much to do so I watch bullshit and stay up too late and worry about things.

Ride my bike and keep my mind busy.

Where to turn. Find some food. Fix this flat. Pack up gear. Stretch my back. Where to stop. Check the map. Wash my clothes. Ride many miles. There is so much to do on something like a long bike ride. Answer some questions. Write in notebook. Take a photo. Drink more water. Apply more sunblock. Look at map. Where to turn. Where to camp. Get cleaned up. Set up tent. Roll out sleepingbag. Go to sleep.
I guess by then I didn’t have time to think about how I’m sleeping alone in the woods. I just was so tired I fell asleep. That’s why I want to tour. To sleep better. Everything else is the same really.